Day 30 : Your Reflection in The Mirror

Name : Flore Alice Marie Elvire Dutronc
Age : 24
Job : None
Marital Status : Single, but not desperate
Dreams : A lot
Hope : Driving licence + Job !

Dear Reflection in the mirror,

Let me look at you.


You're tired !


You should stop going to bed around 2:00 AM ...


Almost a year since your thesis' viva, and diploma, and you still don't have a job.

Is it wrong ?

Yes.
No.

Since the viva of your business plan, you're thinking about creating your own company.
But you're too scared for that.

Don't do it alone.

Suggest the idea to some friends. And, ok, find some to money, you need investments ...

Plus, I'm sure you will have some good news from W.
He wants a partnership between UK, Italy and France... Visibly he knows only one French girl ...
He will be in Paris next week, or this week ...

You still have no job.

Is it wrong ?

No.

No, because you know what your priorities are. Plus, even if you're stubborn, you're opening your mind week after week. You will find something, I'm sure of that !
And, I forbid you to say "What if ..."

"What if" means nothing because :
- you believe in yourself
- you're smart
- your family loves you and supports you
- your friends love you and support you
- maybe you're shy, but you know what you want
- you have this capacity to listen to people and you know how and when you need to smile ! You can use that to get what you want !


One radio said they loved the E.P. Another success ?






You can do it.


And people will know who you are and will recognize your efforts.


Never doubt about this !

Day 29 : The Person that you want tell Everything to, but too afraid to !

Well ... it's another hard letter, because ... I'm the kind of girl/person who can accept, assume and take a lot of things, with no reaction. But, I remember a lot of things, and if I want some revenge, it's easy...

From birth till now, I made a lot of things, met a lot of people and made a lot of mistakes ; so, I think that there is not ONE person that I want to tell everything, but a lot !


To my parents and family,
I would like to say thank you, but also you need to accept the fact that I'm 24 and I need to make some mistakes to learn how life is, and I need your support, help and love to succeed.
Until today, you all made a lot, thank you !

To those who hate me, or love me.
I met you once. Maybe I don't remember who you are and if you hate me, maybe I don't know why, but I hope that you have a good reason to.


To D.,
We met in November.
Since,
- you're talking about having us in your team, nothing.
- we made a lot, nothing.
What are we supposed to understand ?
I really want to work with the boys, and believe in their career, and visibly they don't want us to leave... We need to find a way, because I refuse those conditions. If you want us, say it, and prove it. Don't disappear !

To the inspectors of the driving test,
I think you never learn what psychology is. Is it pleasant to "torture" a candidate ? Sometimes being rude, tell bad jokes, and with a hypocrite smile wish a lovely day. It's easy to bank our 150 euros check, isn't it ? I'm curious to know how you drive !
How many times did I want to scream after you in the car ! Come on !!!
You judge our way to drive during 30 minutes for LIFE ??
We are all stressed, and you keep being rude, saying hypocritically "take it easy, take your time, blah blah blah". You never trust a candidate and we know in just a second if you like (and maybe will let us just a little chance) or not. I think that I should go to see all the people who cannot park at one time and say "too bad, you just lost your driving licence, have a nice day !"

To the French teenagers, version 20.10,
WTF ?
Life is not like a TV show ! You're not in a fashion magazine !
Look at you young girls of 15 or less. Is that a skit ? Is that a top for a girl of your age ? And your shoes ? Does your Mum & Dad know that your wearing high hell shoes to go to high school ???!! And your bag ? God, your Gerard Darel (around 300 euros, maybe more) or your Longchamp (same) must suffer holding your books ! Oh, not, that's right, it's better to come with nothing, just a big vanity kit !
God !! Thank you Mum & Dad for the education I had !
Look at you young boys ! Life is not like in Rolling Stone Magazine ! Maybe that fashion is cool on Pete Doherty or other rockers from the UK, but not on you ! Go to eat something ! Get dressed ! Looking like that, you're just pathetic ! (oh, and buy a belt, you're losing your pants !)
And to those you thinks that killing French language is SO COOL (we called them "kikoolol", kikoo is a deformation of "coucou", means "hey" "hi" ... We call them like that because, all their chat begins by "kikoolol" - fascinating !!) : leave you shopping bags and video games and go back to school ! Especially in your French lessons ! Writing and talking like this, you will never be able to find a job.

To the crisis and all the f* people who say that they prefer to download music than buying because artists don't need money,
It's not because you're an artist that you are a millionaire. And, even if they are, they NEED that money because thanks to that money they CAN record a new ALBUM or prepare a NEW TOUR ! Without money, you CAN'T !! Keep doing it and one day we will say goodbye to the creation !
I admit that I download music, because I hate when iTunes let me listen only 20 seconds to judge a song that I don't know, or because Last.fm / Deezer and all the others tell me "We're free, but in fact, to listen another song, you have to pay !" I download the CD, listen to it, and then, pray God to find in French stores, or buy it on the Internet.

To the World,
Maybe life was easier, better, whatever at another century, but I'm glad to be a child of 20th century ! Even if I'd love to visit the others ! 19th maybe, ...



(late one :
No, I'm not afraid :

To Charlotte & Pauline,
thank you girls for those moments !!! I love you so much !!
Charlotte, promise, I tell to my new hubby for you want to meet him !

(Since few weeks, Theo Rossi is my "new hubby", I love Sons of Anarchy, I love all the cast, and I'm crazy about his smile !
This "morning", we spent hours with Charlotte, gossiping like two teenagers because I chose this picture as profile pictures ! This is what I love with those two girls. In just a second, we come back to teenage ages, forgetting everything else. It's so good !!)
(c) - the picture is one of the official promotional pictures for the Season 3.


To my boys,
Is my hear broken ? No. I'm just very angry. We really really need to find a way to talk and organize everything ! I know you have a lot of things to do in Scotland. But, if it's what you want, don't say "We want to come back". I spent hours calling venues, writing emails to find you those gigs, and just a month before you change your mind ? No way ! I don't have a job, and that hand I'm giving to you, helps me to meet professional people. I can present myself as Flore, not as the new-intern-who-will-stay-only-4-months. You want to promise November. Fine. But this time you BLOCK 3 days, a week, a month, I don't care, you write it everywhere and you refuse weds or other gigs in Scotland ! I won't talk about last chance, don't worry. For the moment, I'm angry, things will be better soon !

To Neil,
Please, don't play with me. It's the only thing I'm asking to you. You are adorable and I love those jokes, but ... I know who am I, I know how jealous I can be, so, don't play with me !!)

xx

Day 28 : Someone who changed your life

First time I saw the list of the letters for this challenge, and that I saw "Someone who changed your life", I saw his name, and only his. Because I know that if I live all those beautiful days, things, etc.. it's because I met him 7 years ago.

I met Matthias when I was a Senior in High School. I had to think, at this moment, about the years after A-Level ... I choose Cultural Mediation, a crazy name for an "unknown" thing (I accept all the comments saying "what does it mean?", since my first day in that school I hear "Oh, it seems very interesting, but, what is it ?") I filed for the school without believing in it... and received a letter saying I was invited to pass the test. It was in February 2003.

I took the train and the sub, and then walked to the 13, rue de la Grange Batelière... Went upstairs, and was welcomed by Matthias. He was the one who was "taking care of the students". I was charmed from his first word.
I filed for another school in the same time, just in case, and was accepted there too. I decline and choose the EAC, just because the second school didn't have him !

I always had a special relationship with him and still have it. And I'm proud of it. I know that he will always be there for me. How do I know that ? How am I so sure of it ? I don't know, but I can feel it !

Here is my letter for that man, who, one day, changed my life !


My dear M.,

Am I still the same than 7 years ago ?

Do you know that I choose the EAC because of you ? And, I don't regret it, not at all. I remember how excited I was for my first day there ! Knowing in April that I will be a student of the school motivated me so much for my A-Level !!

And then, the English weeks before the real back-to-school day. You helped me to find myself ! We were joking about lunch, I told you it was bad to eat standing up, you asked me why, I tried to explain it to you and said that it will be easier to write it.
Deal.
And I became the Professor Pom2Pin. I don't know if you keep all those crazy papers ...

You told me you liked it and I wrote a lot of other papers like this one during two years, it was good.
Little by little, the Professor died. Sometimes I try to bring it back to life, but it's impossible.

4 years later, graduate, but with no job.
I left for Lyon in September 2008, we kept in touch. Oh please, don't leave me, never !!
Back in Versailles in July 2009, I was able to live that crazy year (and go every morning to my internship that was at 100 m of the EAC in Lyon ... and welcoming some students who were looking for an internship in Promotion because they were student in Cultural Mediation in a little school of Lyon ... EAC isn't it ? Was I asking to myself with a big smile in face... Jérôme was asking me " - Do you know that school ... ?" "-Yesssssssssssssss !!")
I met new friends thanks to the EAC.
Jarring because of the EAC.
TIME because of the EAC.
The EAC because of you.

I will never be able to thank you enough for all those things you made for me, even those you have no idea ... A smile, a kind word, a reproach, an advice... Thank you.

I love you Matthias, and I hope I will see you soon.

xx



(c) - the picture is his, from his Facebook page.

Day 27 : The Friendliest Person you knew for only one day

For this letter, I choose a guy I met in Harrogate. It was after the concert of the Dunwell Brothers Band, and this guy was lovely.

Let me write a little letter to Antony, without H.


Hi Antony,

Remember how we met.
You know that Ilo and I noticed you before the concert ... We thought you were cute, and you were alone.

We cheers together, it was nice, but you didn't talk a lot. You talked more after the gig, when we all went outside with the boys. It was nice, and we.had.to.left.because.of.the.boss ! But what people don't know is that, after leaving him, Ilo and I were like crazy kids, screaming everywhere... We decided to go back to the pub ... And we chose to stay only a little hour because the next morning we had to "work" for ABF.

That's how we really met. You were surprised to see that we came back. We talked about everything and nothing like we always knew each other (that's what I love with british people, so nice, so friendly !)

I had the surprise, late on April 4th, to see a message from you for my birthday ... A little bit early because I was born on April 5th, but I really appreciate it ! Like all your messages in French, written thanks to Google Translator ! So sweet !

We saw only once, and it was really nice ! I hope I'll see you another day there, or somewhere else !

xx

Day 26 : Person you made a Pinky Promise To ...

When I was kid, I was in love with him and wanted to married ... him !

Yes. (and Terminator 2 is still one of my favourite movies !)


Later, I had crush on other actors, and then musicians ...

If I had the power to marry one of my idols, who will it be ? No idea... Who will I choose ? The cute one, the looks-funny one, the OMG-he's-so-good one ? I don't know.

My last break-up was in January 2008. Since, I had some flirts, yes I did, but no bf.

No boyfriends, but 4 husbands. Oh God ! 4 ??!! And, one day I was pregnant of two plush birds !

No letter, but a word about all my hubbies !

The first one, Thomas.
Met during the BAFA Week.

In fact, we're married, divorced, but not married yet.

During my internship at Jarring Effects, we were chatting on MSN (and I'm not guilty, we had to use MSN at JFX to send us important informations !!) and I don't remember why we talked about Brussels and Belgium (in fact, he's working there). We also talked about the strange Scandinavians guys he was supposed to meet for his job, and then talked about our crazy wedding.

He proposed in a crappy restaurant, where the food is disgusting, and the ceremony is supposed to be on the top of a mountain with a cliché view.

We're not married yet because since he refused to send me french fries by mail, and I didn't have the time to visit him there !
But, one thing that will never change is that, at our wedding, Francis (M. Patate) will be my maid of honour and will dance like a ballerina !

My dear Thomas,
I can't wait to that FABOULOUS day !
xx

Second husband, Thibaut.
Met at Lyon, Uni.

In fact, if we look at the dates, he is my first husband, because we married in December 2008 and divorced in January or February 2009. Thomas and I get married during my internship, so between March and July 2009.

So, we get married in Lapin d'Garen's car, back from St-Etienne in December 2009.
We divorced later because of the dog Chips. This dog is the dog of one of my teacher (who's also the wife of one of the director of the Master ... What explains why she's teacher because her classes are ... useless ...). She was coming at the Uni, in our class with her dog. Once, that awfull thing felt asleep during an awful class, and one of my friend, who was sit at the first row, he stretched his legs and, crushed the dog (he didn't remind that the dog was here ...)
So, both of us (like all the other students) didn't like that dog, and Thibaut and I decided to divorce because of the dog. He was more in love with that dog than with me !
Don't worry, with still friends !

My dear Thibaut,
How's Chips ? I hope a car ran over it ! ;-)
xx

The third one ...

Met in November 2009.

When he asked me to be his personal sex counsellor, he didn't remember that we were married.
When he saw my ring, he asked me who offered it to me, I answer " - So you don't remember?"
To formalize our wedding, he pushed me in a parisian bush. To divorce, I have to push him in a bush ...

Let's see that in September ...

My dear Neil,

Another letter ? Oh no ! I already have a big email to send to the four of you tomorrow about Paris ! And I will have to talk about drums ! Pff !
;-)
xx


The last one,
Not married yet, I have to divorce Neil first.

My dear Maggie,

So, first I have to push Neil in a bush and then we will be free to get married. But, for that, I hope that you will bring me my sunglasses back ! I missed them so much ! More than the four of you ! ;-)

Bring them back or I divorce before getting married ! Be nice, hide yourself, because you know that for the moment, I already have to teach you GASTRONOMY (and forget Cheesecake !!!!) and Good Movies (forget ... what is it already ?), maybe Good Music, I don't want to add shave your red hair and let them burn on my BBQ ! ;-)

Miss you and your crazy jokes !!
Can't wait to be in September !!!
xx

Day 25 : Person going through the worst of times

Walking down the Champs Elysées this afternoon with my parents, I was thinking
about today's letter.

Théophile and I met when we were scouts. A year, one of his little sister was one of my scout-girls, after that, he became scout leader like me. His parents made a lot for our team, helping leaders like us for all the papers, files, and crazy administrative things we have to prepare for a summer camp.

During those years, we all learned that his Mum was fighting against a terrible cancer. We were so sad because Agnès was a wonderful woman, and her kids from Théo to Angèle (the youngest) are all wonderful young people now !

When I moved to Lyon, I knew that Theo was there too for his studies. We both have a lot of work and just saw ourselves few minutes in the street one evening. When I began my internship, I suggest him to have a drink. He told me
" - No problem, here is my address ..." No kidding man ???!!! Your flat is 30 seconds from my office ! We have to see each other.

A month later, still impossible to see each other. My Mum called me
" - It's been few days I wanted to ask you that ! Did you know a woman called Agnès Watteau ?"
Before answering her question, I already knew what she will ask me.
She told me that she passed away earlier that month. A friend of her went to the funerals and said that the Cathedral Saint Louis (the BIG cathedral of Versailles) was FULL !!! No empty seats, no other seats.

I was so sad for her, her family, friends, and was so angry. After 4 years of good services for the Scouts in Versailles, NOBODY sent a card, letter, email, SMS or whatever to tell us. My friend Clémence, the same, I'm the one who told her !


My dear Théo,

It's been a year now. I hope it wasn't too hard.

It's been a while since last time we saw each other, and I'm sorry, the only thing I could do was sending a SMS. My Mum told me after the funerals. If only I knew it before, I would have come. Your Mum was a wonderful woman, even if I knew her only 3 years !

I know you're a strong man, I hope you feel better now, and that your family too.
I'd love to see you again, because, finally, we never shared that drink in Lyon !!

xx

Day 24 : A Person who gave me my Favourite Memory

My best memory ? ...
Well, I think that I have a lot of "best" memories ... So, today's letter is gonna be a little bit special ...

Here are some thank you for those who gave me those wonderful memories !

To M. M !

Thank you for all those crazy days I spent with you ! I think that I saw in you that brother/sister relationship that I was looking for. I think that you really believe in me and you helped me a lot with your sweet words !
My best memory with you was during an exam in 2nd year, Egyptology if my memory is good ... You were playing with your chair ... and fell down ...
Strangely, we all felt better after that, until the end of the exam !
I miss our jokes and letters, maybe the Professor Pom2pin will come back, one day, soon ...

To Ségolène, my dear Pastule !
Thank you for that crazy summer camp in 2007 ! Crazy words, crazy pregnancy of two plush birds, crazy bread in the fire (nooooo, it's not wood !!!!!!! and nooooo, your beer, it was the last one !)
C.R.A.Z.Y
Too bad you were with us only those 10 days !

To my first "husband", Thomas.
Well ... Too many memories with you dear !! Bafa week, party @ Axel's place with all the others, that crazy day for the 100th birthday of Scouting, that little week end with the others of the BAFA .... our crazy chat about our fake wedding !! P.E.R.F.E.C.T !!!!

To Francis,
Shall I write M. Patate ? Or my quote "So hot today, I dream about water", splash, your glass of water on my face !
Hard to know which one is the best ...
Oh, I got another one with you : that week-end with Thomas, Guillemette, Sophie and You : HOURS in the frozen-food section, to be sure that we will be cold (it was in september, nice weather, so summer clothes !), and then cook on the campfire. You want to cook the rice ... Here is the salt, don't put too much ... Francis, why is it 1 KG of salt in this "rice" ??? The rice was infect, it's like we were eating only salt ...

To my second "husband" Thibaut,
The entire year is a wonderful memory ! Specially our first night in Cannes :
" - Do you have pass/tickets for the NRJ Music Awards ???"
" - Yes, and I'm also a VIP. I will meet all the artists backstage later, but I prefer spending my evening outside, I more funny ! Plus, being outside gives me the occasion to lie to lovely teenagers !!" Maybe 10 teenagers asked us the same question because we had our MIDEM Badge (that didn't give us a free entry for the NRJ thing), some told us that they were ready to pay 200 euros or more ! Crazy little ones !!
And what about the "BANG" of my head against the iron bar in the corridor of the Uni ?

To Lapin d'Garen, Tit'Alice and Leslie,
Do you remember that crazy trip back from Saint Etienne to Lyon ? Teenagers !!! (It's that night that Thibaut - who also was in the car - and I get married, but we divorced because of the dog in January ...)

About Saint Etienne ...

To Charlie and Ilo ...
"NO NO NO !!!! We have to take this exit or we will be in Marseille, not in Saint Etienne !!!!" (There are 60 km between Lyon and Saint Etienne, we had to go there for the Uni ... The director of our Master is the Director of the concert hall of S.E)

And because, everytime you go to Saint Etienne, you have to live a crazy road trip, here are few words for Jérôme ... and Nico, and Val ...
On May 26th 2009, we go to Saint Etienne for the press conference ...
On May 27th 2009, we go back to Saint Etienne for the first concert of the Collision Tour 2009 by Hint vs Ez3kiel ...
Jérôme, your car decided to honk alone, all by itself, everytime you needed to turn your wheel on the left ... People around us were crazy, and us, we cannot stop laughing ! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G
Arrived at St-E, you took the wrong way on the traffic circle : tour of honour with crazy honk for the Promotion Team !! Impossible to stop laughing !
During the "dinner", you fixed the car with Nico. After the concert, there were works on the high way to go back to Lyon ... Val and I were sad, your car was mute ... Tour of honour in the city, but with a mute car ...

I could also add, Pauline, Charlotte, singing Clemence, scotch time with Bichon, my rockers, some awesome concerts (haven't seen a lot, but all were perfect !!), my family, a lot of people, the dinner with Hélène-Sophie (simple, cheap, but what a wonderful night talking about everything and nothing, gossiping like teenagers !), all those teachers asking me "Dutronc, the same family ?" (GRR !! If you knew it a little bit more, you would know that he has ONLY ONE SON !!! Not 2 sons and two daughters !!) ...

What about you ? What is your best memory ?

Day 23 : The Last Person I Kissed

Kissed ?
A real kiss or not ?
Because if it's not, so the last person I kissed is my Mum, and it was this morning to say "Good Morning".
If it's a real kiss, so you know who it is ... You know that guy by heart, and you know that our last kiss was in June.

No need to present him ...


My dear Fishboy,

First time we kissed was in November, when we met. Ilo took a picture of us at this particular moment. And, for fun, she tagged us (noooo, the picture is just awfull !!!!)
I laughed because we were joking about it at this particular moment. You and I were married, but I was also married to Sexy J., she was Craig's Mother and had a special relationship with Maggie as Jim ...
I don't know if you laughed the same way we did ... I remember your email :
"that has to be the most unflattering photo EVER!! please take it off! :P for the sake of all mankind!!! xx "

We kissed a second time in June. It was niiiiiice.

And then, one morning I saw that your martial relationship changed : "[you're] in relationship with [her]" ... Ok ... But what about your jokes with Ilo ... And ... almost a year later, isn't it a little bit late to "formalize" it ? Y a anguille sous roche !! (sorry)

I won't lie to you. It will be easier without [her], and if I was in Glasgow or you in Paris.

It was a game, just a game. I have to find a bush to "divorce" and end up this game ... Or not...

We're co-workers, and that relationship, as long as it will be, will always be special. And for the moment, I love it !

See you in September my dear !

(Oh, you're song, for today, is already on line !)

Day 22 : Someone you want to give a second chance

Well ... I'm sure I want to give a second chance to a lot of people. Those who hurt me, for example ...
I'd like to say W. but why will he need a second chance ? The only problem with him is that he has a lot of things to do and change his mind every second !

I think there is only one guy who will need this second chance, or maybe third, fourth, fifth, I stopped counting.

My dear Bonome,

This is not a second chance, but a "without a number" chance.

This letter will be short.

Our relation ship is hard since the first day, maybe because we have the same pride, bad temper, all those crappy things.

When I believe in one artist, I want to do all the things I can to help. I loved your songs since the first listening.

You always told me that nothing will make you change your style, that you will never sign in a French record company, this that blah blah blah.
I think something change in your music, I don't like it, I told you that.

Ok we work together, but you have to change ! Your not a kid, I'm not your Mum, or Nanny. You're an adult. Tell me the truth, tell me what's on your mind, not what I want to hear, and maybe things will be easier.

I want to say that it's your last chance !

Love you boy

xx

Day 21 : Someone you judged

We met at the EAC, during our 3rd year.

The worst was during our 4th and last year.

During the 3rd year, we had to write our Master Thesis. She had a lot of problems with it (and I totally understand it because it's really really hard !!), and I think she also had a problem with her thesis' tutor and her theme.

I gave mine for the first session, in November 2006, so the beginning of our last year. Everything was ok, and I got a little 13/20, because of the spelling and because the President of the Jury thought that my subject was not original : the peer-to-peer ... (uh oh ... She was following our work ... Maybe she could have say something earlier than during my viva ...). The only thing I could have answer - and didn't because it would not have change a thing, she already made her choice - was that maybe it was not original because there were articles everyday in every newspaper, but there was no book about it, at least not in France in 2006, just articles and a miscarry law (DADVSI ...)

Anyway.

My friend had not enough time but choose to present herself to the first session. And, she has been adjourned... (too much copy/past and spelling ... if my memory is good) She was devastated, and had to rewrite it and gave it back for the second session few months later (February I think)

During the 4th year, we had to realize a professional action. Team of two 4th year, and three 3rd year, no choice about the team and the company, the school - well the teacher in charge - was choosing for us. We were in the same team, because we were the 4th year, we were Managers and have to decided which one (her or me) was the Super-Manager. She was.
Our company ? An association that works for the promotion of French short-films. Glaps.
I knew nothing about it, she knew nothing about it either.

And, to be perfect, the beginning of this crappy thing was in the same time than the second session.

Our association was awful, the director a bitch, my friend was stressed about her thesis and our action : WELCOME TO HELL !!

This 4th year was awful. We were fighting all the time, we were tired, we had a lot of work, plus thesis (for the concerned), plus internships to find +++
I hated the action, she was trying to motivate everybody, and it was hard (we had many problems with our team, 3 of them left ... so from 6 at the beginning - and work for 6 people - we finished at 3 - with work for 6 ...) and I think she did it well.

After a big crisis with the association, she cried a lot. Our teacher asked me to come, alone in his office and asked me what was happening. I told him everything. He told me that this action was some kind of test for me, because he knew what kind of girl I could be. He told me that she was the Super-Manager on the paper but that I was, for him, the real one. The one who stays cool, listen and try to find a solution. I was surprised to hear that and wanted to tell him
"- Uh oh, no you're wrong ! I hate that thing, I want my team to fire me !!"
I didn't tell him. He asked me to deal with her problem, my ego and the fact that I was hating that stuff. He asked me to bring the peace back to our team.

I think that those words comfort me a lot. I took on me, and went talking to her. We needed that talk, and finally, peace came back ... Maybe a month or two before the return of our report.

During the last weeks we were crazy, seeing each other everyday, joking, stressed, she told us that her boyfriend helped her a lot, and when everything was wrong, he proposed.
One of our best problems was during the last two days. She was supposed to print our report (80 pages, or 100, don't remember exactly) and choose to not come at school to do it quietly at her home. Impossible to print it... I said
" - Ok, no problem, I'll print it tonight and tomorrow, at lunch, we will find a place and a moment to bind it"
She was scared, but we did it, just in time.

We felt so good after that, even if we still have to think about our viva.

The association was supposed to come to our viva, as member of our Jury, and had to talk about us, and ask questions. The told us they will not come because they didn't care about it. We were angry but felt so good learning that. We had to talk about our relationships too, and because it's been like hell, we thought that it was better without them.

We took 3 days to prepare our viva, maybe less. And it was a good time.

A last problem. D-day : I had an awful cold because of my allergies (in July) and had the feeling to have cotton in my ears, I was hearing almost nothing and had an awful voice. I was so angry !!
My team was scared, they needed me !

My turn to talk, I made an announcement
" - I'm sorry but I have a big cold, I don't hear myself when I'm talking and my voice hurts me, but let me present you our work" ... The show must go on. Everything was perfect, and after everybody told me it was my best viva ever ! WOW, thank you guys !!

I think I judged her because of that stupid thing, and the stress, and and and. After that, my teacher told me he made a mistake and should have gave me the one with the music. He was feeling guilty. THANK YOU SIRE !

She's married now, and her little girl is 6 months old.

Here is my letter.

My dear Annabelle,

The other day I was preparing a job interview. I wanted to bring some papers I wrote, and found a copy of our report for the L.
It brought me back to the EAC. Remember it ? It was crazy !!

To me, the worst day was when M. M. told me that he should have gave me the one with the music, it would have been better for me. NO WAY ???!!!

I went to their neighbourhood few months or weeks ago. I was going out with friends, stopped in the street, gave a look and said
" - I know this place, bad memories, let's go, quick !"

It was so strange. And it's past.

I'm sorry, I wanted you to be the guilty one of the situation, you were not. We were all. I was accusing you because, I don't know, maybe it was easy, because I was angry ...

We chatted freely since that. It was nice.

I hope you're happy, and that your little family is fine. You deserve it !

xx



(c) - photo from her Facebook

Day 20 : Someone who broke my heart !

Once upon a time, I was a teenager in high school who absolutely wanted a boyfriend. I asked my friends to help me meeting new guys.

I met one, he was so cute, but he had a girlfriend. I choose to meet him, girlfriend or not, we became friends. Special friends.

We were not in the same class, and not in the same year level either. And so, when I passed my A-Level, he still had a year to do in H.S.
After my H.S Graduation, we kept in touch, but, at this moment, my friend already broke my heart.

He made me a promise and didn't respect it, plus, he admit not remembering it.

During his senior year, I learn through his friends that he wanted to quit, and that he will not pass his A-Level, because he wanted to live for his music
He broke my heart, again.
I tried to talk to him and make him understand that he needed at least his A-Level (music industry, 7 years ago was already in crisis ...)

We drifted away and I made a promise to myself : turn the page, the one with is name.
Bullshit !
I never been able to do it ! And, worse, I was torturing myself with his name : I want to see him, I want to call him, I want this, I want that ...

I sent him an innocent email to have news, he told me that he was in a musical school, that it was great, blah blah blah. His school was in Nancy, he wasn't coming back to Paris ... But we finally saw each other once. It was a great moment. He made me listen to his first songs, it was wonderful. And then, he asked me to work with him.

He broke my heart again. I was intern at Rejoyce at this moment. He was looking for advices from professional people, I gave a copy of the tunes to my boss'. They liked it, but he never sent the bio and other informations they needed. I took it very very bad. He wanted me to find him some gigs in Paris. I wasn't able to do that, I knew nothing about it. I said no.

We kept sending emails. I was turning 20 that year, I wanted to organize a little dinner with my own VIP. I invited him, he promised me that he will come. Few days before, I called him to remind him, he told me that he will not come, because he forgot.

He broke my heart. Again. This time I told myself "Don't forgive him, forget that guy !"
IMPOSSIBLE !!

Many times he asked me to work with him, and everytime I was thinking about our past. In 2007, a big strike of the trains kept me home. Impossible to go to work during 2 days ... I was trying to work from home, but it was hard. The first day, he called me and left a message ; he was in town and wanted to see me. I accepted, we saw each other the next day. He asked me again to work with him. I told him maybe. And then, he talked about a gig in Paris, few weeks later, I said maybe. He sent me many messages "Will you come ? Yes ? No ?"
I was tired that week, the concert was in Paris, didn't want to go out in the night, cold, rain, don't remember exactly (but it was winter). I finally text him the day before (or the day of the concert) telling him that I will not come. He took it very badly, and somewhere, deep inside of me, I was happy. For once I was the one who was breaking HIS little heart !
" - How do you want me to feel ? I just learned that an important person was not coming to my concert"

I came to the next one, he was very happy, and asked me again...

Lyon, Sept. 2008.
I moved few weeks before, and don't have the internet in my apartment. When I want to connect myself, I have to go to the Quick or steal my neighbour's connection ... Newspaper and teachers at the Uni are talking about the Star Academy (our Pop Idol), saying that one more time it will be awfull blah blah blah. I like to visit the website just to see the guys of the year ... No internet ...
And finally, Internet arrives at home. The Star Ac is far away from me, I don't have a TV at home, and, honestly, I don't care about it. A little bit of Facebook and MySpace, and, I think about him ... I choose to go to his MySpace to listen to his music. What do I read "Star Ac' Time" ...
WTF ????
I check his Facebook. The same. Next stop, TF1 website for the link of the Star Ac' ... 18 (or 16) I don't know ... The names, photos ? Not yet, my connection is slowwwwwwww... I check the names, there's a guy called Edouard ... There's a lot of Edouard in France. 5 seconds later, the picture, Oh God, it's him ! I was so sad for him !! His music is not the one they're producing in that shitty program !! I texted a friend of high school (who was in his class), and we laughed together. That friend realize it too at this moment ! Next day, at the Uni, with Ilo and Thibaut we're making the crosswords and sudokus in the newspaper ... Article about the Star Ac', I laughed and told them, Alice, who was in front of me turned herself over me "What ???" ... We laughed !!

December 2008
He's out ! I sent him an email. No answer. I told him I'll be home for the holidays and I wanted to invite him for a little drink. He said ok and sure that he will have time for me because he loved the letter I sent to him when he was there. A promise. A lovely promise. But he never found a moment for me ... Bye bye ...

I don't know if you will believe me if I was telling you that he did the same last January.

After the Star Ac, he left for South Africa to record his first album. He came back in France during few days in January. He promised me we will see each other. We never did.

When I was working for the ABF events, Darren asked us if we knew good french artists, because he wanted to signed french artists in Circular Creative ... I was thinking about him ... I suggest him. His answer, months later, was I want you to be my agent in France, here are some new songs ...

You know the story. I didn't like his new tunes. I needed weeks to answer. I asked Ilo to help me. She listened to his music and found it awfull too. I told him, in my email, that I was prefering his "old" music, the one before the Star Ac. I sent the email from Geneva, end of May. Today is July 26th, no news. Maybe I broke his heart a second time ... (and maybe it's good !)

Here is my letter to Edouard.

My dear Bonome,

Do you know that you're the only one who can break, no ruin my heart, and fix it with just a smile ?
I think I already told you that.

Why can't I hate you ? I broke my heart so many times, and everytime I come back to you, and I don't know why, I apologize everytime. But, I should not do that, I'm not the bad one. You're the bad guy, the one who breaks my heart ! You're supposed to apologize yourself !!

You know that since the day I know you're a musician, I want to work with you. Few years ago, my dream was, creating my own record company and sign you. I wanted you. Now, you ask me to be your agent ... I'd love to, but not if you stay in S.A. I'm tired of those complicated situation. 3 bands, nobody's talking ... Enough.

I'm sure you didn't appreciate my last email. And, I don't care. You wanted my opinion.
Anyway, I wish you the best and next time you'll come, I will not invite you, it's your turn.

Love you Tête de Génie

xx




(c) - photo from his Facebook, with this copyright : Photos by Vladan Radulovic Photography

Day 19 : Someone that pesters your mind

Today was the anniversary of my parents, 30 !! So, the three of us (my Brother left for a week with friends) had a brunch in Paris (a nice hotel at the Place Vendôme ... Won't tell you the name ... I'm sure you know which one it is !)

It was wonderfullllllllllll !! So good, as usual (ok, I went only twice ...) ! But so hard to come and so hard to leave ! Today was the last (finally !!) step of the Tour de France, and so the streets were closed ...Impossible to drive in Paris, well in the neighbourhood of the Champs Elysées / Rue de Rivoli / Place Vendôme ! We needed more than an hour to go back home !

Before going back to our car, we went to the Rue de Rivoli, curiosity, curiosity ! There were so many people !!! Ridiculous !! (yes, I hate the Tour de France, I think it's totally stupid !!!) and then, policemen told us " - we're waiting for them around 16:00" ... It's only 15:00, let's go back home ! Back home, my Gran-Pa told me that there was a biggggg delay and that they will not arrive before 17:00 17:30 ... Too bad, it's not raining !!

Anyway ! It was a wonderful Sunday !


Today is Day 19 ... Someone that pesters your mind ... I was thinking about one guy (and I'm sure that you know who he is!) ... And I think that this letter won't be only for one guy, but for 4 guys ! Yes, they pester my mind, I have a lot of things to tell them, and I think that they will receive a loooooooooooooong email tomorrow !! (you don't come back to Paris like that boy !!)



My dear boys,

Paris is almost good ! You have two nights, I need the third one ! I think that, one more time, it's gonna be a crazy week for all of us.

Even if I still don't know about the third night (in fact, you play on Wednesday and Friday, I need to find Thursday ...), I will send you all the informations I can tomorrow ... Like that, you will have time to organize yourself : road, hotel room, setlist ... All that stuff ... If you have interesting news about the album, please send me ... I'd love to seduce some journalist ...

To Zakk. I hope you will work on your French vocabulary and that you will have a wonderful speech ... Not only "Hello, je suis Zakk, je peux enlever ma veste ! " Even if I love when you say that and that I hope you will say it !

To Gary. My dear Gary ... How do you say pen, postman, stamp ... in French. If you pass your French exam, you will have the authorisation to go back to the Rue de Douais, and you will HAVE TO play on that metallic guitar !! I go back to Paris tomorrow, I'll try to check if the owl is still here !

To Neil. Next time I see you, I teach you how to answer to an email, I push you in a bush, I steal your hat, and will give you candies ...

To Maggie. My dear Maggie ... ... If my sunglasses are not in my hand or on my nose on Wednesday September 22nd, you will die, burned by the sun and you will have to say goodbye to your ginger hair !!! :-)

To all of you. Since the first day I met you, I'm in love with you. You're crazy, talented, nice, funny (ok, too much scottish for 3 of you ...), I believe in you and wish you the best. I'm glad I'm in the team, the family. If only I could have a real job with you !! I'll take the first plane to Glasgow and move with you !!!

I love you boys !!

Day 18 : The Person you wish to Be

The perfect afternoon : Disney Channel or a Movie and nails, when nobody's home !!
By the way, Coraline is the best movie to watch before writing the letter the person you wish to be ! It was the first time I was watching this movie, I loved it !!

Born, April 5th 1986
2 Brothers, 1 Sister
2 Master Degrees
No job
No driving licence
No boyfriend
Need 4 kgs

Dear Me,
Well, Dear "The One I Wish I'll be"

I'd like to say that they are some points about myself I'm proud of : my family, a roof above my head (even if it's my parents' one), some very good friends who will always be there for me, money on my bank account (even if it's not a lot, it's more than other days), diplomas. That's cool ! I'm proud of myself !
And there are others I'm not ... : diplomas that I love BUT no job, shyness and fear of the unknown that made that, AT 24, I still have not my D.L, friends BUT no boyfriend (but maybe I'm working on it ...)

One day, a man told me that I was able to succeed and do a lot of good things, but before that, I absolutely need to trust in me and accept to take some risk and place myself !
Few days later, we were saying goodbye with tears in our eyes, those people were telling us :
" - Don't be afraid by taking some risks. Do not hesitate to scale the wall. It's hard, you can fall, you don't know what's behind, but when you're on top of that wall you can see everything ! Scale the wall, and don't be afraid to jump, it doesn't matter if you don't fall on your feet, if you don't, do it again."

I tried to scale.

I'd like to be that girl jumping from the wall and arriving on my feet.

I'd like to be that girl who will not be afraid of the unknown.

I'd like to be that girl who will take risks without a doubt, and who will believe in everything she does.

I want to believe in me and see success : I can do it, I will do it ! Like everybody I have two hands, a head, a brain, a mind, a heart ! If the others can success, I can do it too !!

I met a lot of people until today and they all changed my life a little bit. And I hope that thanks to them, I will always be the one I wish I'll be; you know that girl wearing the number 100, the one who will live her own life and will be proud of !

I wish being a good girl, who will keep in her mind what's the difference between right and wrong, the one who listens, who thinks, who knows when it's time to stop.
I wish one day being a good spouse of a wonderful man and a good mum.

That will be hard , but I wish I'll be that girl. Even if I'm scared !


(thank you for reading me and for not judging me !)

xx

Day 17 : Somone from your Childhood

First, I'd like to say that I'm sorry, I'm late ! This letter was supposed to be posted yesterday ... I did not because I tried to write those two press releases for Polydor. I wrote one ...

Second, I changed the addressee. When I choose to make this letter challenge, I put a name on each letter. This one was supposed to be for Alice, and I finally changed my mind.

Alice and I were best friends when we were kids. Unfortunately, I realized that it will be too hard to write her a letter, because I think that now, after something like 10 years and moreeeee, maybe 15, I have nothing to tell her. After all these years, I think that we have nothing in common anymore ... (plus, she didn't invite me to her wedding ! lol)

So, the letter is for Elsa. Another friend from childhood !! I think we know each other since ever.
Growing up, we choose different ways, we drifted away (but not so much because her Mum is my brother's Godmother). When I turned 20, I made a dinner at home with some friends and really wanted her to be here, we shared so much ! And she came ! It was a wonderful night !!

Last year, she told me that she filed for a Master Degree in Lyon, and I told her I was leaving my apartment because my year was over.
We spent an entire afternoon sharing a coffee talking about childhood, teenagers, Lyon, crazy things ! It was so lovely !!

I called her when I came back to Lyon for my Graduation Night. It was so nice !! (ok, we spent hours gossiping about our awfull owner !!) !!

Here's my letter for her !!

My dear Elsa,

It's like years we didn't see each others, isn't it ??

How did it end with Ms P. ? I hope you punched her very very much !! You don't have to pay for those stuffs she's supposed to pay, like real windows, a bathroom with security, a decent floor ... This apartment could be so good if only she was not so ... huuuu !!!!

I totally understand the fact you want to leave this place ! And I don't understand why she's like that with you ! Mum told me she didn't like you ! What did you do, you the little and nice blond girl ???!!! :-)

You know what I hated the most when I was there ? Not the fact that she promised me chairs that I'm still waiting, no ! No, everytime she was coming to the apartment (thank God, she came only 2 or 3 time in one year), Olivier was opening the door and then he was disappearing !! Leaving me alone with her !!! I hated him so much when he was doing that ! Just because he didn't want to see her or talk to her (because I wanted it, me ???!!! No wayyyy !!!)

Talking about Olivier. Mum and Dad received an email from him about Charlotte's wedding. Mum wants to check old pictures of her ... I guess we will find a lot of old and crazy photos !! Attention to you miss !! I think that can be very funny to bring some old pictures back to life, don't you ?

I don't know if you will be back to Lyon or will stay in Paris in September, but whatever you do, don't hesitate to call me !!

xx

(c) photo from her Facebook, with her sister, the newly wed Astrid !
Olivier is a friend from childhood too. He was my neighbour in Lyon (I found the place by him, because the guy before me was leaving). We had a common entry ... and the same owner. Charlotte is his big sister, she's getting married in August (not invited)

I'll post the letter of the day later ... After dinner and movie !!!

Day 16 : Someone not in my state

Someone not in my state ...
Well, in France, we don't have states, only departments, so today will be the letter to someone who's not in the Yvelines ...

That friend needs prayers and this letter !

Remember my point 59 ?

59 - work at Jarring Effects again, with Hélène !!

My 16th letter is for my lovely Hélène, also known as Bichon ...

Hélène and I met at Jarring Effects (JFX), we were both interns, me in promotion, her in multimedia ... Just a little alley was between us. I was seeing her, she was seeing me, we were able to speak only with eyes and funny faces.

She wanted to be friends at the first day, and I accepted, she was so sweet, like all the others !! And, at JFX, you need that feminine alliance because there is not a lot of women (usual, 2 for 10 people, during our internship, 4 for 12)

When we were arriving the morning, we were sharing a tea (it's phytooooooooo timeeeeeeeeee) together, joking about everything and nothing, like the fact that my diploma could change me in Musical Manager. We decided that I will be her manager and she will be my crazy artist, Lady Gigi (and she will drive people crazy because she's crazy - one of my best selling point !), on stage she will dance with a herd of walrus' dressed with sequinned suits !

We were also sharing loooong afternoons of poster campaigns for our concerts and parties, trying to not eat scotch tape, plus distribution of flyers for those concerts and parties (usual, when one of the guy of the team was realizing that a poster campaign of a distribution had to be done, we were trying to hide ourselves, or were simulated an important phone call ... Most times, we were losing !). When we were doing it, we were trying to resist to the call of the shopping (the distribution was in the big commercial street of Lyon ...) We lost one and made some shopping once... The guy in charge of that awfull thing (another intern) was untouched, and so, we had to do it against the will of our tutors ... We spent the afternoon with posters, scotch tape, flyers, and shopping.

After the end of our internships, she had to write her internship report, I had to write my Master's thesis. Because her internship ended before mine, I remember she came few times at the office because she needed help. She was so scared about the writing and the viva. And then, she came back and screamed "15 !!" We were so happy for her !!

Then we said goodbye.

I came back for my viva ... We saw each other. I told her about the absence of Jérôme at my viva. She laughed, everybody did. And then, few weeks later she was leaving for UK. During a year, she will have to be the assistant of the French teacher in two schools. She was so happy to do it...


And finally criedddddddddd. Everyday she was chating with me
" - Today, at school, they asked me why I wasn't wearing my uniform ! I'm 25 and I am the teacher !!"
" - Today, they didn't care about what I was teaching ! We talked about French music, I spent hours to select good songs, and you know I hate French variety (and it was impossible to work on good stuff like JFX's artists !!)
" - Today, I had 3 students"
" - Today, they didn't come"
... Everyday she had a new problem. And finally, one morning, in February or March she sent me
" - I quit ! Yesterday I forgot the class and the headmaster asked me if everything was ok with the class ... I answered that I was quitting, I didn't explain why ..."

Since, she's back to Lyon. One day she finds an apartment, the next day she has to quit it. After three months, I think she finally found the good one. Like me, she's sending a lot of résumés, and no job... She's desperate ! And it's really sad, because she's a wonderful girl !!


My dear Bichon,

Your interview was this afternoon, I hope you kicked their ass'. You deserve a good job ! Remember, you and I, we both survived Opti and JFX !!! If I find a job, you will find one too !!

You know that earlier this month, I realized that one year ago I was saying goodbye to all those people ???!!! I miss Lyon so much ! I should look the prices of train tickets to come and spend few days there. I still have no job, so I have time (but no money !!)

I'm sorry, I never found the time to come to see you in Liverpool (well, I don't remember the name of where you were exactly ... oopsy). It could have been so good, but ... no money ... I should marry an old millionaire guy ! And life will be easier. And if that one has a friend, I give him your number ! We will be VIP and will go to dance all night in Saint Tropez on David Guetta's Music !!!!! (eurkkkkkkkkkkkkk !! I prefer eating scotch tape until I die than dance all night on D.G's music !!)

Anyway. I hope everything will be better for you soon !! I cross all my fingers and will say 100 000 Ave Maria and other prayers for you !!

Love you !

xx

(c) - picture made in July 2009 during my Goodbye Party at JFX !! The guy behind her with a black T-Shirt ? Nico, the crazy Nico ... I should try to find a letter for him ...

Day 15 : Someone I miss

Before beginning the story of you I met the chosen of the day, I'd like to share a little information.

Remember that post :

Outfit Problem

?

And the 9th letter :

The One I'd like to meet ...

?

Well, my little appointment Monday morning was easy. The problem is the contract. The guy told me to call the woman in charge of this, and ... I think she's in holiday ... So is my counsellor at the Job Center ! Cool !!

Waiting for a good news, the guy gave me some holidays homeworks... All the candidates have the same. Two demos, one week to write a press release for each.

Easy ?

Well ....

After catholic music, I worked in electronic music, and now, those two demos are hip-hop ... Easy ..

Funny ?

Well ...

Yes. Because one is by OneRepublic, the other by P. Diddy ... Because both are signed at Polydor for the France.

If I have the job, I will have to work with those artists, and will be able to meet him...

(you wish)


And now, day 15 !

Someone I miss.
Oh yeah, I really miss this friend.

Remember that post :

Tell you a little story

?

Yes, Romain and I met during this crazy BAFA week.

We were not in the same team, I was a Mousse, he was a Viking.
He was so sweet, and so funny, like all the others. And he is one of the few I kept in touch.

After the BAFA week, we saw each other few times, chat a lot on MSN, texted a lot.

He is in Morocco (I think ...) since few months and so I don't have a lot of news since he left.

Today, I'm writing a letter to my dear Romain.

My dear Romain,

It's been a while since our last chat. Are you still in Morocco ? You told me you were there for your internship, but never tell what kind of internship ... Last time we saw each others, you were suppose to become an educator for kids ... Did you finally changed your mind ?

I miss our crazy chat, you know, those where I decide you have to be the superhero who's gonna save my life !
It was nice !

I wanted to suggest to Francis and Thomas to see each other soon ... I hope you'll be there too. It will be nice !

This letter gave me an idea ... ... You're gonna have news soon my dear !!


Enjoy Morocco, and see you soon !!!!

xxx

Day 14 : Someone I've drifted away from

Day 1 was on July 7th ... The day before I was thinking about the different people of the list ...

Later that same day, chat on Facebook "Anne wants to speak with you" ...

On July 9th, 100 th post, update of my Bucket List :

" 79 - get in touch, again, with some old friends : done
=> July 7th, I was working. Chat on Facebook, Anne wants to speak with you ... Ok ... Talking about everything and nothing, and then she asked me if I was in Versailles. I answered yes. She suggests that we meet at a coffee shop. I said "Deal". And we realized that last time we saw each other was ... 10 years ago !! "

Anne and I were friends in Junior High... Before seeing each other on July 9th, last time we saw each other was 10 years ago. It was so strange, we realized that we lived so many things in 10 years.

She's married now, and is the mother of a little Kylan, who's gonna turn 1 in few days.

We will write the chapter 2 of this reunion on Thursday afternoon, Charlotte will be with us too. And it will be very strange for me because Anne is married/mum and Charlotte is pregnant/married since ever (she has the same boyfriend since something like 6 or 7 years ... maybe more). So, I will be the single one with no baby project !

Dear Anne,

Seeing you last time was so strange. But so good. I remember that I was angry against you when you left Versailles after Junior High. Maybe I was hating you. Don't really remember why ... We were 14 ... Maybe it was for stupid things. But I remember you were so sad to leave Versailles !

10 years ! We made so many things !

And all those memories from Junior High ! It's been so long without thinking about it !

Younger, I was afraid about losing my friends. Junior High and High School are terrible and finally, you "have to" lose your friends. Facebook is a wonderful idea ! I've drifted away from you, you did too, and all the others. And Facebook helped us to have this first reunion ! Cool !
Can't wait to be on Thursday !!!

A lot of kisses for your little prince ! He's so cute !!!

See you soon

xx

(c) photo from her Facebook page. I'm not the author, I'm not the owner. And because there's a little one on it, maybe I won't let the picture forever ...

Day 13 : Someone I wish could forgive me

Someone I wish could forgive me ... Well. I know who it is.

Remember the post where I said :

"I think a ghost is living in Versailles"

and now,

Remember the letter to an Ex ?


Today, 13th day, is the day I introduce you to my Ghost.

October 2004.
I met Pierre-Antoine during my second year at the EAC. It was a Friday. I remember because few hours later we were leaving for a crazy week-end, integration week-end, in Genova, Italy.

With Clémence, we first stopped by Emmanuelle's place. This is how we met her neighbour, Gerald, and his friend, P-A.

When Gerald introduced me to P-A, I was Faune (joke about the Fauna and Flora, classical) and his (to P-A) girlfriend. P-A turned red ! I was charmed. So were P-A.

What charmed me the more, is the fact that he was persuaded that Faune was my real name ! I had to show him my ID to prove ! And, even knowing the truth, he always kept calling me Faune. And I always loved it !

I'm shy. He's terribly shy too. Hard !
How many SMS did we send to each other, no idea. It was some kind of game between us.

November 2004.
The graduation night was coming ... Not ours, the one for the 4th year ... I need to invite him ! There's a huge party, open to all the people who buy a ticket ! If I suggest the idea to Gerald and him, Gerald will say yes without a hesitation ... Not so sure about P-A ...

December 2004.
He said yes and said "It's gonna be a kissing night" ... Ok ... What does it mean ?
Remember my notebook ? I wrote this entire night in it.

Extract :

- Because of the rain, we chose not going to the Museum (Cluny), our presentation (in fact, we had to be the guide for the rest of the class in one museum of Paris. Really hard !!!) will wait. Coffee at her place, Gerald joins us.

- We left at 18:00 ... The ceremony was supposed to begin at 18:30, but you know, it's the EAC, it didn't begin before 19:something. Nice video, the rest is pretty bad ... And then, crazy students in a crazy town !!

- We didn't eat, and the wine is strong ... Already drunk ? Almost. When we left, we wanted to have fun ! We needed it. Clémence wanted to sing in the streets and in the subway ! So funny ! People were looking at her with so strange faces !!

- Back to Manu's place ... Oh oh, people at Vincent's (another neighbour), let's go... Clémence wants to sing again, P-A gave her 20 cents to be sure she will stop ! But he was wrong, and she decided she wanted more and continue with songs about Christmas ...

- We look at the hour ! Damn, we have to eat and get dress !! And then, go back to the Sub. Finally, I think I preferred travelling with Clémence singing. Gerald is so worsttttttttt !!

- Arrived. Nobody ... Ok ...First drinks (oh, forgot to tell, that night, all the drinks were free) and ... everybody disappears ... Strange ... Only P-A and I. We laugh ! Then, everybody comes back. And again... and again. Another drinks, and oopsy, P-A spills his glass on Manu. Drinks, drinks ... I don't know why, P-A brings me 2 or 3 drinks in one time ... Some friends of P-A arrive. And they play together with their drinks, and one of them (P-A's one) finish on MY top (well, it wasn't mine, I borrowed it from Clémence). I look at him and remember he brings me 2 drinks. I choose one and spill it (voluntary) on him. "Fight" with our drinks.

- And then, he chose to play another stupid game. He wanted to play with my nose. Because he found it funny. He played with my nose, kissed my cheeks, kissed my forehead, kissed my nose and finally kissed my lips. It was sweet !!!!!!!!!!!!!

- END-

January 2005.
He's texting me a hard SMS : we should not date... (something like that)
Answer : well ... nice ...
He : messages we don't like to send but that we have to send.

Following Gerald, he was really sad to send me those messages. And I finally accepted it ... After all, it was just a party. And never stop hoping.

Little by little, our little game and our SMS were back.

July 2005. Live 8. Versailles.
Emmanuelle (Manu) was supposed to come, she didn't. Gerald came. He told me P-A wanted to come too, but he had too much work ! Hard !
Harder because, the thing I didn't tell you, yet, is that, the first time I saw him, my first thought was "he looks like Dom Howard". Gerald told me P-A won't come, who's the band, right now, beginning their set ? Muse. I almost cried !

December 2005.
Months and months of game. And another SMS : he thinks that he hurts me more by sending those SMS and that we should stop, I should meet other guys ...
But, I don't want other guys. Impossible to accept this !

August 2006.
The real end. He helped me for a homework, I asked him if we could see each other, letting the past far away. He said no.


I never see him back. But, every year, on August 31st, I have a little though for him, and I realize that this year, he is suppose to turn 30 ... I don't know what, who he becomes.
I know that I should have leave him alone, and think that it's my fault.
We were friends. We're not anymore. And it's hard to talk about him.

My dear P-A,

Last time I texted you was ... in 2005 I think ... For your birthday. Didn't text you since that day.

And since, I also delete your phone number from my phone. To be sure that I will turn the page with your name.

I'm sorry if I bother you. I didn't want that ... Please forgive me.

I chose you because I think that this thing was stupid, and because I saw your ghost three or four times in Versailles ... Not sure it's you, your picture is not on Y.P website anymore ... I guess you left.

I hope everything is fine for you, and that you succeed in what you do.

xx

Day 12 : The Person you hate

I saw "someone" you hate, and so I saw one name. An obvious name. But is it really hate ?
Not so sure.

I can accept a lot of things, but, beware, I am spiteful !

I met him (sorry, I won't write his name) in Lyon. He was in my class, and already had a big career behind him.

Because of this looooong career, with big french artists, marketing chief for I don't remember which Major Company (in fact, I remember but won't tell you which one), he was really arrogant and haughty. Eurk !!

First week at the Uni, he always had something to tell, ask, answer ... We, just-students-without-10-years-of-career felt so small that we were "afraid" to take the risk of asking or answering a question. Some were trying and his answers/remarks were awful, like it's was impossible for us to ask this or that because we were supposed to know it already, and, everytime he was adding "when I was this" "when I did this", "when I was working with him/her ..."
Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh !!

The only nice classes were english classes, because he didn't speak english. He wasn't able to say a little sentence ... Plus, we were supposed to talk about economics and music industry in english ... Not so easy, but we were all able to talk a little bit. The teacher didn't care if our answers were right or wrong, because the only thing he wanted was hearing us and correcting our english when it was wrong ! (by the way, I hope my english is not too bad ... if I'm making terrible mistakes, please tell me !!!)

One day, he and I had a fight ! And I think that I hate him from this day !

I'm a shy girl, and everyday I try to fight against it. I don't know why, but sometimes, wearing a dress/skirt helps me to trust in me... Why, I don't really know ...

One morning, I choose to wear one of my Scottish kilt. It was the first time of the year I was wearing a skit.
Laddish remark from him...

(<= the guilty skirt !) I was thinking " F* off ! You're not my Dad/Brother/Friend, just another student, you don't have to tell me how to get dressed !" Second one.
Same.

(Ok, this one is a little bit shorter, but who cares !!)

And he was bothering me everytime I was wearing a skirt or dress !

" Ohh sexy ... Do you have panties under it ?"

Blah, blah, blah, leave me alone !

The day of the fight.
Little class, so I think the year was almost over, January maybe ...
I was wearing a brown dress, and tights (hey, January, in Lyon, it's coooooold !!)
He was next to me, and was stealing my sudoku (yes, I know it's bad, but the class was boring !!)
and was saying
" - Here is a 4, here a 3, no you're wrong it's a 9 ! Come on, you don't know the rules, it's easy, you have to think like this !"
I was crazy, angry !!!
And I don't remember why, he made another remark about the fact I was wearing a dress, maybe I think he didn't like the tights. ENOUGH !!
I slapped him behind the head.

OH GOD, what did I do ?????!! (lol)

" - You insolent girl ! You cannot do this ! You're just a kid, you owe me respect" blah blah blah !
Shut up man ! You get what you deserved ! Enough of your laddish remarks and stupid jokes below the belt ! At this moment, I wanted to stand up (yes, during the class, didn't care about the teacher), kick his ass and yelled
" - F* you man ! I'm a girl not a toy ! Maybe I'm younger, but you owe me some kind of respect too !"

The other girls, during the break (because this happened just before the break. Don't remember if after he moved or left ...) agreed. This guy ... pff ! Nevermind !

Today, I won't write a letter to that guy. He doesn't deserve it ! I just want to tell him that :

The best day of the MCA's year was our graduation day, because you were not here with us ! And I didn't miss you !