Once upon a time, I was a teenager in high school who absolutely wanted a boyfriend. I asked my friends to help me meeting new guys.
I met one, he was so cute, but he had a girlfriend. I choose to meet him, girlfriend or not, we became friends. Special friends.
We were not in the same class, and not in the same year level either. And so, when I passed my A-Level, he still had a year to do in H.S.
After my H.S Graduation, we kept in touch, but, at this moment, my friend already broke my heart.
He made me a promise and didn't respect it, plus, he admit not remembering it.
During his senior year, I learn through his friends that he wanted to quit, and that he will not pass his A-Level, because he wanted to live for his music
He broke my heart, again.
I tried to talk to him and make him understand that he needed at least his A-Level (music industry, 7 years ago was already in crisis ...)
We drifted away and I made a promise to myself : turn the page, the one with is name.
Bullshit !
I never been able to do it ! And, worse, I was torturing myself with his name : I want to see him, I want to call him, I want this, I want that ...
I sent him an innocent email to have news, he told me that he was in a musical school, that it was great, blah blah blah. His school was in Nancy, he wasn't coming back to Paris ... But we finally saw each other once. It was a great moment. He made me listen to his first songs, it was wonderful. And then, he asked me to work with him.
He broke my heart again. I was intern at Rejoyce at this moment. He was looking for advices from professional people, I gave a copy of the tunes to my boss'. They liked it, but he never sent the bio and other informations they needed. I took it very very bad. He wanted me to find him some gigs in Paris. I wasn't able to do that, I knew nothing about it. I said no.
We kept sending emails. I was turning 20 that year, I wanted to organize a little dinner with my own VIP. I invited him, he promised me that he will come. Few days before, I called him to remind him, he told me that he will not come, because he forgot.
He broke my heart. Again. This time I told myself "Don't forgive him, forget that guy !"
IMPOSSIBLE !!
Many times he asked me to work with him, and everytime I was thinking about our past. In 2007, a big strike of the trains kept me home. Impossible to go to work during 2 days ... I was trying to work from home, but it was hard. The first day, he called me and left a message ; he was in town and wanted to see me. I accepted, we saw each other the next day. He asked me again to work with him. I told him maybe. And then, he talked about a gig in Paris, few weeks later, I said maybe. He sent me many messages "Will you come ? Yes ? No ?"
I was tired that week, the concert was in Paris, didn't want to go out in the night, cold, rain, don't remember exactly (but it was winter). I finally text him the day before (or the day of the concert) telling him that I will not come. He took it very badly, and somewhere, deep inside of me, I was happy. For once I was the one who was breaking HIS little heart !
" - How do you want me to feel ? I just learned that an important person was not coming to my concert"
I came to the next one, he was very happy, and asked me again...
Lyon, Sept. 2008.
I moved few weeks before, and don't have the internet in my apartment. When I want to connect myself, I have to go to the Quick or steal my neighbour's connection ... Newspaper and teachers at the Uni are talking about the Star Academy (our Pop Idol), saying that one more time it will be awfull blah blah blah. I like to visit the website just to see the guys of the year ... No internet ...
And finally, Internet arrives at home. The Star Ac is far away from me, I don't have a TV at home, and, honestly, I don't care about it. A little bit of Facebook and MySpace, and, I think about him ... I choose to go to his MySpace to listen to his music. What do I read "Star Ac' Time" ...
WTF ????
I check his Facebook. The same. Next stop, TF1 website for the link of the Star Ac' ... 18 (or 16) I don't know ... The names, photos ? Not yet, my connection is slowwwwwwww... I check the names, there's a guy called Edouard ... There's a lot of Edouard in France. 5 seconds later, the picture, Oh God, it's him ! I was so sad for him !! His music is not the one they're producing in that shitty program !! I texted a friend of high school (who was in his class), and we laughed together. That friend realize it too at this moment ! Next day, at the Uni, with Ilo and Thibaut we're making the crosswords and sudokus in the newspaper ... Article about the Star Ac', I laughed and told them, Alice, who was in front of me turned herself over me "What ???" ... We laughed !!
December 2008
He's out ! I sent him an email. No answer. I told him I'll be home for the holidays and I wanted to invite him for a little drink. He said ok and sure that he will have time for me because he loved the letter I sent to him when he was there. A promise. A lovely promise. But he never found a moment for me ... Bye bye ...
I don't know if you will believe me if I was telling you that he did the same last January.
After the Star Ac, he left for South Africa to record his first album. He came back in France during few days in January. He promised me we will see each other. We never did.
When I was working for the ABF events, Darren asked us if we knew good french artists, because he wanted to signed french artists in Circular Creative ... I was thinking about him ... I suggest him. His answer, months later, was I want you to be my agent in France, here are some new songs ...
You know the story. I didn't like his new tunes. I needed weeks to answer. I asked Ilo to help me. She listened to his music and found it awfull too. I told him, in my email, that I was prefering his "old" music, the one before the Star Ac. I sent the email from Geneva, end of May. Today is July 26th, no news. Maybe I broke his heart a second time ... (and maybe it's good !)
Here is my letter to Edouard.
My dear Bonome,
Do you know that you're the only one who can break, no ruin my heart, and fix it with just a smile ?
I think I already told you that.
Why can't I hate you ? I broke my heart so many times, and everytime I come back to you, and I don't know why, I apologize everytime. But, I should not do that, I'm not the bad one. You're the bad guy, the one who breaks my heart ! You're supposed to apologize yourself !!
You know that since the day I know you're a musician, I want to work with you. Few years ago, my dream was, creating my own record company and sign you. I wanted you. Now, you ask me to be your agent ... I'd love to, but not if you stay in S.A. I'm tired of those complicated situation. 3 bands, nobody's talking ... Enough.
I'm sure you didn't appreciate my last email. And, I don't care. You wanted my opinion.
Anyway, I wish you the best and next time you'll come, I will not invite you, it's your turn.
Love you Tête de Génie
xx
(c) - photo from his Facebook, with this copyright : Photos by Vladan Radulovic Photography
I met one, he was so cute, but he had a girlfriend. I choose to meet him, girlfriend or not, we became friends. Special friends.
We were not in the same class, and not in the same year level either. And so, when I passed my A-Level, he still had a year to do in H.S.
After my H.S Graduation, we kept in touch, but, at this moment, my friend already broke my heart.
He made me a promise and didn't respect it, plus, he admit not remembering it.
During his senior year, I learn through his friends that he wanted to quit, and that he will not pass his A-Level, because he wanted to live for his music
He broke my heart, again.
I tried to talk to him and make him understand that he needed at least his A-Level (music industry, 7 years ago was already in crisis ...)
We drifted away and I made a promise to myself : turn the page, the one with is name.
Bullshit !
I never been able to do it ! And, worse, I was torturing myself with his name : I want to see him, I want to call him, I want this, I want that ...
I sent him an innocent email to have news, he told me that he was in a musical school, that it was great, blah blah blah. His school was in Nancy, he wasn't coming back to Paris ... But we finally saw each other once. It was a great moment. He made me listen to his first songs, it was wonderful. And then, he asked me to work with him.
He broke my heart again. I was intern at Rejoyce at this moment. He was looking for advices from professional people, I gave a copy of the tunes to my boss'. They liked it, but he never sent the bio and other informations they needed. I took it very very bad. He wanted me to find him some gigs in Paris. I wasn't able to do that, I knew nothing about it. I said no.
We kept sending emails. I was turning 20 that year, I wanted to organize a little dinner with my own VIP. I invited him, he promised me that he will come. Few days before, I called him to remind him, he told me that he will not come, because he forgot.
He broke my heart. Again. This time I told myself "Don't forgive him, forget that guy !"
IMPOSSIBLE !!
Many times he asked me to work with him, and everytime I was thinking about our past. In 2007, a big strike of the trains kept me home. Impossible to go to work during 2 days ... I was trying to work from home, but it was hard. The first day, he called me and left a message ; he was in town and wanted to see me. I accepted, we saw each other the next day. He asked me again to work with him. I told him maybe. And then, he talked about a gig in Paris, few weeks later, I said maybe. He sent me many messages "Will you come ? Yes ? No ?"
I was tired that week, the concert was in Paris, didn't want to go out in the night, cold, rain, don't remember exactly (but it was winter). I finally text him the day before (or the day of the concert) telling him that I will not come. He took it very badly, and somewhere, deep inside of me, I was happy. For once I was the one who was breaking HIS little heart !
" - How do you want me to feel ? I just learned that an important person was not coming to my concert"
I came to the next one, he was very happy, and asked me again...
Lyon, Sept. 2008.
I moved few weeks before, and don't have the internet in my apartment. When I want to connect myself, I have to go to the Quick or steal my neighbour's connection ... Newspaper and teachers at the Uni are talking about the Star Academy (our Pop Idol), saying that one more time it will be awfull blah blah blah. I like to visit the website just to see the guys of the year ... No internet ...
And finally, Internet arrives at home. The Star Ac is far away from me, I don't have a TV at home, and, honestly, I don't care about it. A little bit of Facebook and MySpace, and, I think about him ... I choose to go to his MySpace to listen to his music. What do I read "Star Ac' Time" ...
WTF ????
I check his Facebook. The same. Next stop, TF1 website for the link of the Star Ac' ... 18 (or 16) I don't know ... The names, photos ? Not yet, my connection is slowwwwwwww... I check the names, there's a guy called Edouard ... There's a lot of Edouard in France. 5 seconds later, the picture, Oh God, it's him ! I was so sad for him !! His music is not the one they're producing in that shitty program !! I texted a friend of high school (who was in his class), and we laughed together. That friend realize it too at this moment ! Next day, at the Uni, with Ilo and Thibaut we're making the crosswords and sudokus in the newspaper ... Article about the Star Ac', I laughed and told them, Alice, who was in front of me turned herself over me "What ???" ... We laughed !!
December 2008
He's out ! I sent him an email. No answer. I told him I'll be home for the holidays and I wanted to invite him for a little drink. He said ok and sure that he will have time for me because he loved the letter I sent to him when he was there. A promise. A lovely promise. But he never found a moment for me ... Bye bye ...
I don't know if you will believe me if I was telling you that he did the same last January.
After the Star Ac, he left for South Africa to record his first album. He came back in France during few days in January. He promised me we will see each other. We never did.
When I was working for the ABF events, Darren asked us if we knew good french artists, because he wanted to signed french artists in Circular Creative ... I was thinking about him ... I suggest him. His answer, months later, was I want you to be my agent in France, here are some new songs ...
You know the story. I didn't like his new tunes. I needed weeks to answer. I asked Ilo to help me. She listened to his music and found it awfull too. I told him, in my email, that I was prefering his "old" music, the one before the Star Ac. I sent the email from Geneva, end of May. Today is July 26th, no news. Maybe I broke his heart a second time ... (and maybe it's good !)
Here is my letter to Edouard.
My dear Bonome,Do you know that you're the only one who can break, no ruin my heart, and fix it with just a smile ?
I think I already told you that.
Why can't I hate you ? I broke my heart so many times, and everytime I come back to you, and I don't know why, I apologize everytime. But, I should not do that, I'm not the bad one. You're the bad guy, the one who breaks my heart ! You're supposed to apologize yourself !!
You know that since the day I know you're a musician, I want to work with you. Few years ago, my dream was, creating my own record company and sign you. I wanted you. Now, you ask me to be your agent ... I'd love to, but not if you stay in S.A. I'm tired of those complicated situation. 3 bands, nobody's talking ... Enough.
I'm sure you didn't appreciate my last email. And, I don't care. You wanted my opinion.
Anyway, I wish you the best and next time you'll come, I will not invite you, it's your turn.
Love you Tête de Génie
xx
(c) - photo from his Facebook, with this copyright : Photos by Vladan Radulovic Photography
Oh no that's so sad... I know it's no use telling you that he is just plain silly (why didn't he send his CV and other info when he had that good chance? that's just stupid). I can understand how hard it must be... I used to be in similar situations. All I can say is that I got over them, I survived and I met a guy who's not so irresponsible... So I hope you meet someone good soon.
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