Part 2.

I posted earlier, and you know what, nothing really changed this afternoon.

The day was starting nicely. I received some good messages, and shared the news with the concerned. And, I don't know why, few hours later, I turned a little bit paranoid, seeing/reading anger and reproach in every comment/chat I had. 

The afternoon was a little bit worse. 

It started with the fact that I am watching the new episode of Sons of Anarchy. And... well... it's terrible ! I mean, the show is awesome, the script is brilliant, the cast, they all deserve awards, and this season is, for me, the best. Very dark, very deep, it's the season where you meet the real characters, who they are in the deep of their-selves. And, to do that, Kurt Sutter, the genius behind the show, is torturing some characters. It's terrible ! The last episode ended very very badly, and now, we all have to wait one week to know : is he really dead or not ?! (I won't spoil, won't tell you who's the character.)

Anyway. I was a little bit scared before watching it because I have some ideas and some personal-argument about who may die at the end or before the end of the season, and now I'm more than scared ! So, I watched it, and after, I was more sad. 

Since Monday, I'm helping my Mum. She needs scans for her students, and because she doesn't have a lot of time and is not a "pro" with the scanner, I do it. I mean, I have time, I'm still waiting for two schedules for the next tours. And so, since Monday, I'm a kind of zombie. It's easy to do scans, but it's boring, especially when the laptop doesn't want to cooperate ! 

My laptop bugged two or three times, and I yelled at it ! Doing that, I realize that maybe there was something wrong with me. 

This morning I was paranoid, and now yelling at the laptop, I realized that little by little I was turning in an old embittered woman, the one who's dying alone, eaten by her own cats. One of my friends commented that status saying that maybe I was already that kind of person, and, I cried. 

It was really awfull. 

Ok, people can be grumpy, angry, embittered, paranoid, stubborn. But all of that in one person, a 25 y.o girl ? No man. It's impossible. I can't. I have to find a solution.
I'm trying to cry for help, and it doesn't work. What am I supposed to do ?

The only thing I know it that, right now, I feel that way : 

Another day is ending, I hope tomorrow will be better ! (there will be at least one good thing, tomorrow evening I have a diner with the one who was my German pen-friend in Junior High, I'm really happy to see her tomorrow !)

Hey Jude - covered by Joe Anderson
Across the Universe Soundtrack

PS : Apparently, our First Lady, Carla Bruni Sarkozy, gave birth to a little girl. That's a sweet news.