I cried, again.

Everytime I think that everything is settled with Job Center, they find another bullshit.

Last week, they sent me an electronic document, not an email or letter or phone call, no just a pdf on my online profile, telling me that they were paying me 87,45 euros, that was my unemployed benefit for the last week of September because I registered last week of September. Good news. I thought.

On Friday, another pdf telling me that "maybe it was an overpayment", they added "in progress". Nice. 

This morning, 3 pdf : 

- You will have unemployed-benefit (a document that I already got 3 TIMES !! but, still waiting for the money)

- The 87,45 euros are an overpayment, please, give us it back

- Fill this for another kind of benefits. I read the paper and see "this grant is only for people who were employed at least five years during the last 10 months of their last working-agreement" WTF ???!!! I worked 6 months, they know it and send me this ??? 

How do they work ????!!! Do they read our profiles before sending documents ??? And why one day they tell me "you will have money", the next one "here's your money", and next day "oh no, you can't have this money !"

I read it, printed everything and send an email (cuz it's Sunday - OF COURSE !!! - and because it's IMPOSSIBLE to call them !!) to the lady I met last Monday asking her a meeting, telling her that I'm tired of these bullshits and saying that now, if Job Center is keep doing that with me, my next meeting will be at the Court, because I lost enough time because of them. 

Of course, I'm scared. I'm thinking about all the details, trying to do some researches on the Internet, trying to have the support of family and friends, but it's really hard. I tried everything, always stood calm and polite, but now, it's enough ! 

So, it made me cry this morning. 

Something else made me cry.

This week, my cousin said he was going to Versailles, and when I asked him what he was doing there, he answered "something not really funny, and pretty hard". Immediately I thought about his Grand-Mother (my Godfather's mother, who's 90y something and who has a terrible Alzheimer since many years...)

He texted me later that day telling me that he had to make her hospitalized because she's very bad now. And now, he knows that Hospital may be her last home. That's terrible. She's a great woman, very funny, very nice, and seeing her losing her memory day after day, it's really sad. 

He stopped by home last night after a long afternoon with her, and he was really bad. It's was awfull to see him like that. I know he really cares about her, and can't imagine how hard it must be.

Now I wonder if bad stuff are gonna stop soon. I really need some fresh air too. I think I will book New Year's Eve holidays soon !

--

41. What is a quote that you love ?

"And finally. This question. The mystery of whose story it will be, of who draws the curtain. Who is it that chooses our steps in a dance? Who drives us mad, flashes us with whips, crowns us with victory when we survive the impossible? Who is it that tells all these things?

You have all the weapons you need. Now fight !"

42. Do you think of pure hate as something humanity created ?

Right now, I'm not in the mood to answer to that question.

43. When was the last time you wanted to scream ?

Wanted, probably this week. Really did it, this morning. 

44. Do you ever at times see the world in black and white ?

When everything around me is bad or sad, yes. 

45. Have you ever thought that cell phones are too obtrusive ?

No. They can save our lives, we just need to know how to use it correctly !

46. In your life, where do you thank the rainbow will end ?

In an unknown place. I'd like to find it, just once, please ! Especially right now !

47. What is something that you never want to do again ?

I made mistakes, yes I did, like everybody. But, my mistakes helped me to grow up. Something I never want to do again... Go back to the driving school or Job Center...

48.When was the first time you realized the world was small ?

When Natures proves it to us. Human is nothing compared to the Nature ! 

49. How you spend your time contemplating life’s mysteries ?

/

50. Ever discuss your political beliefs with people ?

Depends who are the people.

51. Do you care about the environment ?

Yes I do. I'm just 25 and I'd like to live in a good environment until my last day, thank you.

52. What’s your motto for life ?

No motto.

53. Is progress destroying the beauty of the world ?

Yes and no. Sorry, I feel to bad to debate about it !

54. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe ?

I'm sure. Nobody knows exactly how big is the universe, so, it's impossible that we're alone !

55. Would you like to rule a country ?

No. Because I don't know how to do, and I believe in Studies and Diplomas. Stop hiring people who knows nothing about a job when millions of qualified people are trying to get a job !

56. Do you believe everything has a purpose ?

Probably... Maybe I had to go to that school to meet that people to go to that Uni to do this internship to meet those people to create my company...

57. Is war ever for the best ?

No. There are two people in a war : the one who wants the best, and the one who wants the worst...

58. Could you kill anyone in defense of self or loved ones ?

Ok, maybe the "killing" theme is not the best idea...

59. How do you react to people (Such as Governor Rick Perry) who don't believe global warming is really our fault ?

I'm French, not American, and believe me, I'm tired of reading American politics saying that global warming is not USA's fault. C'mon, open your eyes and check how you live ! If all countries are instituting rules to fight against global warning, why not USA ?????!!!!!

60. Does love conquer all ?

Right now, love is killing me. But maybe it can conquer all...

61. Is euthanasia morally acceptable ?

Yes. If it comes from the one's who dying or is terribly sick.

62. Is world peace impossible ?

Yes. 

63. Is pride a good or a bad thing ?

Both. It's a good thing to be proud, but too much proud is not a good thing... We have to be careful with pride !

64.What do you think is the purpose of your life ?

Right now, I can't answer. Too much pain.

65. Do you believe in karma ?

No.