Why does my heart feel so sad ?

Mum and Dad went back home on Monday evening. And so, my camera went back home on Monday evening.

After downloading all the pictures from the camera to my laptop, I realized I made almost 900 pictures this summer !!!! Crazy !! And, of course, I didn't have the time to look at it seriously and work on it, and unfortunately, I don't know when I'll be able to do it... Probably this week-end.

Before leaving to Italy, I was working on a poster... 13 versions, and the same week-end, I sent three other versions to Jack. Of course, when I went back home, he told me that the German promoter didn't like it... 

Own reflection to myself and myself only : if the promoter doesn't like it, he can do it...

I went back home the Thursday afternoon, Jack came back to London the Friday afternoon, and so, Friday night was a busy night on Skype. Saturday was quiet, and Sunday was a busy Sunday on Skype. 

On Monday, he finally said the magic words. One version (maybe the number 25...) was the good one. And joke : "Do you think you can do another version for another gig ? Pleaaaaaaase ?"

Own reflection to myself and only myself : jumping through the window.

I did the other poster for the other event, and after 6 versions, we had the good one : 

And this event is the one that's breaking my heart...

The gig is on September 18th. One gig, only one. After that, the boys leave to Germany (ok, only in October, but whatever).

Yesterday, W. asked me when I will come to London, and honestly, I was thinking about going there for the gig. But.

This same week, I have Gary at home (well, in Paris) for two gigs, and I know that it will kill me, because, it's Gary, it's been a year since last time, because his two gigs mean a lotttttt to me, and and and. 

Reason number two, there will be no time for me, cuz it's a gig in London, and so, all the people will be friends and longtime fans, and and and. Do you think that they will really care about me ?

Plus, I'm a girl, and I'm TERRIBLY jealous, so. Don't need to say more I think. I will be angry, and won't enjoy.

And finally. 

I spent 3 days on this poster and the other one (sorry, you can't see the October one... you will have to wait a little bit), and having just few minutes with them, no thank you. 

Ok, another reason is that, I may have a chance to work with this big promoter in France. I have to call them back soon. And, don't want to ruin that chance with a week-end in London while I may be terribly sad. 

So. I think that London won't be this time again, and my next meeting with my boys will be on October 11th, in Paris, for just few hours. (believe me, I'm already crying because it's too short !)

I admit it, it's hard to work with them, and it's hard to resist.


(secret : I'm invited without being invited, and I may see people there that I don't want to meet... So...)